TIRE: Resident non-amenities

In a prior life, I was a condo developer in Manhattan. We focused on properties with an architectural heritage (that deal fell through, btw) that offered more than a very nice amenity package to residents.

When I moved to DC, it was quite obvious that developers were a little behind the times in the floorplans, finishes, and amenity packages being offered. After working in non-condo related capacities for two of the more serious developers in the area, I can say their projects would be mid-grade in Manhattan at best. Even where developers tried to offer the world, the presentation and design just didn’t quite get there.

And yet.

No one in DC or NYC believes me when I try to describe my potential neighbors at the Club at Quincy. Located across from the Central Library and Quincy Park in Arlington, Virginia and within 2 blocks of 2 Metro stations this 12-story, 125 unit property is currently on hold with an unknown start date. Rife with design challenges and difficult negotiations with the longtime owners, the project has gone through several developers and a couple of rounds of ‘proffers’ to Arlington County. The most egregious was a 75-seat black box theater that the County requested before it would release permits. I live a block away and my needs run toward good retail, not an experimental theater.

But no one, absolutely no one, thought the existing owner would stay and request to have their business integrated into the ground floor. That wouldn’t normally be a problem except that the current landowner is the Arlington Funeral Home.

And they aren’t leaving.

As the Post sets it up:

On the second floor, they’ll have a fitness center, a private theater with tiered seating, a “newsroom” with current periodicals and a catering kitchen for social gatherings.
Just above the mezzanine level of the 12-story tower to be erected in the bustling Rosslyn-Ballston corridor, residents will be able to lounge on a landscaped deck, swim in a large pool, relax in an outdoor spa or admire a decorative fountain.
On the first floor, they can make arrangements to bury their loved ones.

Which explains this.

This Is Real Estate

TIRE: Property romance, parts 1 and 2

Story 1:
Mysteriously, single women were leaving our property at an alarming rate. The property was well-lit, conveniently located, and freshly rehabbed. No incidents had recently occurred and rents were not escalating.

On a whim, the RPM drove to the property and happened to catch one of the departing residents on her way to the store. They had a pleasant conversation about the neighborhood, the rents, and the property, but when asked about the staff, the resident hesitated. Finally, she stated “I’m just not that interested in them.”

Confused, the regional asked for clarification.

The resident replied with that everyone-knows-this tone that strikes fear into RPMs and asset managers: “I’ve told [the manager] repeatedly that I’m not interested in dating [the service manager] and neither are the other women here.”

Job postings went up that afternoon.

Story 2:
The regional property manager and the asset manager are reviewing monthly numbers when an ‘urgent call’ is sent through.

Caller: “Do you have a sex policy at Hidden Pines of Oak Hill?”
RPM: “A what?”
Caller: “A harassment or romance policy for your employees?”
RPM: “Absolutely. All of our employees are required to take classes on it regularly.”
Caller: “Then you need to remind that [unprintable adjective] manager about it and tell her to stay away from my husband!”

More job postings.

This is Real Estate

TIRE: Good neighbors

The two residents were making small talk as they watched the football game on one’s large TV. The TV owner talked about how hard it was to keep a regular schedule with shift work, the visitor spoke about his recent weekend trip to jail. A few hours later they parted with expectations of watching games the next week.

The next day, the TV owner comes home to find he’s no longer a TV owner, nor does he own a VCR, and apparently someone either returned or stole his Blockbuster DVD.

Twenty minutes later, the PD roll up and arrest the neighbor. The neighbor needed a lawyer, but not nearly as bad as he needed curtains.

We filed for eviction that afternoon.

This is Real Estate.

TIRE: Ignorance, not bliss

Like most people who spend any time on site or with site personnel, I’ve seen an abundance of questionable decisions by residents.

A couple of weeks ago a 1st floor resident noticed water seeping into the bathroom. Curious, the resident went upstairs and roused the 2nd floor neighbor. Disoriented from sleep, it was discovered that the toilet was overflowing and that after a half hour of bailing, the resident gave up and went to sleep.

And the cause of the backup? Someone in the 2nd floor unit dumped 3 lbs. of sand in the toilet.

TIRE: Walking vacants (part 2)

A small property of less than 100 units in a fast growing exurb had a perpetually low (for the market) occupancy of 90%. We worked with the leasing agent, studied the market, improved renewals, and remained stubbornly stagnant at 90%.

So the regional and I went to the property and started looking around. After walking the grounds we started looking in the vacants. Two units in, we had our answer: the vacants were occupied by the hour.

(Yes, the PM was let go. Good at time management, not good at recording ‘other income’ or on the difference between legal and illegal.)

TIRE: Walking Vacants

A couple of quick field stories:

The two gentlemen at the pool harassed residents for a smoke, a ride to town, or other disruptive behavior. A quick check of their ID caused us to discover they were squatting in a unit vacated earlier in the month by a college student.

At another property, I started walking units as part of my property inspection. As I walked into one unlit unit, I heard the familiar crunch of glass on carpet. Sure enough, a window was broken and the kitchen showed signs of recent use.

There’s no way around it: you must inspect vacant units at least every other day and preferably every day.

TIRE: This is Real Estate

All lines of work provide practitioners with a thick book of war stories. Real estate, and multifamily in particular, is prone to providing war stories with just a little bit of a twist.

TIRE, which stands for ‘This is Real Estate’ is an attempt to share the occasional story that either illustrates a common challenge or provides further evidence that “You can’t fix stupid.”

I’ll aim for weekly Friday publishing, but we’ll see.